Don't beat yourself up, SheWanders. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. I am a firm believer in progress... Not how many days you have sober. It sounds like overall, you are making progress with your big picture. As you get stronger, I believe you will give in to AV less and less. I have to believe that for myself too. I made it about two weeks, had a HUGE fail... And now I am barely eeking out day 3 AGAIN. We are human first. Give yourself credit for being here, for being willing to go to a meeting and check it out. I am thinking about checking one out tomorrow as well. I know it really does work for so many. Lots of love and support to you in your journey towards sobriety!!!