lolablitz

I'm not sure what to do and apologize if I'm posting in the wrong forum, I just don't know what to do. My husband lost his father suddenly 3 years ago so I feel bad complaining to him about my living father, so hopefully someone can help me on here.

My father has been sober for 12 years but suddenly I'm so angry with him. I don't even want to see him anymore but I don't want to hurt my saintly mother. She is the definition of an enabler, but she is like that with everyone - you know give and give and always be in service to others. And she's generally a peaceful happy person. Its really beautiful in some ways, but I hate that my father takes advantage of it. He takes advantage of everyone. He's 59 and hasn't worked since one year after he quit. He received a small inheritance and quit and has spent every day since on the computer, losing his inheritance and retirement on the stock market. Of course my mom works two jobs so they can eat and hopefully she can retire someday (I don't know how she'll be able to).

He never leaves the house, never visits his elderly recently widowed mother who lives 20 minutes away, or anyone else for that matter, never goes grocery shopping or anywhere (he makes my mother who is crazy busy with work do everything). He walks his dog twice a day and alternates between putzing around the yard and sitting on the computer. I don't know why but I just can't stand it anymore.

I actually told my mom last week that maybe she should leave him. I feel guilty about it. She said she couldn't get a divorce because she believes in her vows. I told her she could just separate. I don't know why I would tell her that after so many years of this. Nothing's changed. I just can't stand seeing him and he's usually nice and fairly patient with my two young daughters. What's wrong with me?