I have had NC with my X for almost two years now so I only know what my son shares. I never say anything about her but I do occasionally ask how she is doing and just listen to what he has to say. When we were together though, I suspect she is a late bloomer in the early stages of alcoholism. Even if she is not ALL the damn isms are there. My final straw was the affair. Learning that made sense of the lies and financial inconsistencies I was finding.