bobcat2000

I agree with the above - let those that see him every single day do it - if you get embroiled in the "intervention" you may just find yourself embroiled in the emotional roller coaster again and the manipulation of feelings again. You have come such a long way and hugely so and YOU are starting to heal you. By getting so deeply involved again may reset you back to square one!

I undertsnad you care, quite normal as you have a shared history. But young Lara what kind of message even subliminal are you sending to your son and those that care about you at home? Here is a question for you: what sort of role model do you want for your son? What sort of person do you want him to become? Do you want him to grow up believing it is OK to misbehave, do drugs, use woman and when he has done damage to others it is OK? Apologies here but your son needs his Mother to be a whole person. And from what you have told me both on forum and off is you put your son 1st???? Really?

The mental space, financial impacts and other things that your abf has evocked is costing you years and years off your life... what would happen if you took ALL that energy, all that time, all that mental space and ploughed it into you and him??? I will tell you this much based on my experience - you will fly, you will soar, you will see new things and light in all, you will find new friends and renewed energy and your son (just like my daughters) will have so much joy and happiness oozing out of them towards you, you would start to see miracles and goodness come your way - that is a guarantee. I let go of Lesley completely - it was VERY tough as I had been involved for years and years and years with her... I cannot describe how brilliant I have become, how brighter life is without out all the baggage that was Lesley... I know you will do the right thing... you are stong and you are capable... love from across the pond...