The activity I am suggesting is anything OTHER THAN picking him up at the airport. I know what he is saying, and what he is promising, but you walked away from him just as you warned him you would, and now what you are teaching him is you are not serious, you will take whatever he dishes out so long as he boo-hoos like a baby and sweetens you up with promises.
You sound like a very strong and determined woman to me so forgive me if I am a bit puzzled how you have fallen for it. If he is so bound and determined to give it up, buckle down and get serious, and work an honest program of recovery, why do you have to pick him up from the airport? His dad lives across the street; he can go live THERE.
Read this again:
I'm just trying to stay sane. I suffer from panic/anxiety issues myself and this has really beaten me down, my first Al-Anon meeting is tonight before I pick him up from the airport. I'm super nervous about it but I am so clueless as to my role and what to do, I feel like I hardly keep my own head above water sometimes much less be a reliable rock for him.
You are saying you are half insane, panicking, anxious, beaten down, nervous, clueless, and can't keep your own head above water but he expects you to be HIS rock and support HIM, when HE is the one who is making you all of these things in the first place. Where do YOU and YOUR needs fit in here?
You HAVE no role in someone else's recovery from alcoholism or drug addiction. You cannot be anyone's rock but your own. You are not to do ANYTHING for ANY adult, and especially an addict, that they are physically capable of doing for themselves. Yes, what your role is is to take care of YOU. Kudos to you for going to Al-Anon!