notginger

Hi

I found these forums after 9,000 Google hours of searching, starting reading and felt comfy posting so here I am.

I am the girlfriend of an alcoholic. We live together, he is a few years younger than I am and we have truly become best friends.

In his past he has fought drug addictions (Meth and Cocaine) and has been clean for several years, but has never been able to leave the alcohol. It had gotten progressively worse and by the time we met he was pretty much consumed. The last few months have been slowing down drastically, but this past week has made us both realize how bad it has gotten and how urgently he needs help. Side note that his Dad is a (functioning I suppose you would say) alcoholic, lives across the street from me and you NEVER see him without a beer in his hand. My SO has been the same way.

We went on vacation to Disney World this past week and I left to come home after 2 nights, vs the 5 planned. I left him there after he binged, turned the typical angry/verbally abusive drunk and I just had to walk away. He broke down, I have threatened before to walk away, kick him out, etc for the drinking but never actually did it. I think seeing me get on a plane in Orlando and leave him maybe kicked his head a little. We've spent hours and hours on the phone the past two days and he says he's ready to take whatever steps necessary including inpatient if needed. He does really need to be able to work is the issue, I did find an "intensive outpatient" program by us which is M/W/F for 3 hours a night. I don't know if this is enough for what is needed - they said come to an assessment and go from there. He's to the point he is agreeing to do anything to beat it. I think he's finally realized he's at a critical point that is going to make or break his life...with the anger issues when he drinks it's just a disaster waiting to happen and he has a little girl to think about too.

I'm just trying to stay sane. I suffer from panic/anxiety issues myself and this has really beaten me down, my first Al-Anon meeting is tonight before I pick him up from the airport. I'm super nervous about it but I am so clueless as to my role and what to do, I feel like I hardly keep my own head above water sometimes much less be a reliable rock for him.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up, at the same time I'm trying not to be negative either. I never in a million years would have imagined how hard a situation like this is.

If anyone has any suggested reading or activities I would love to hear. Thanks for listening...