Lara: Just wanted you to know that I too experienced a lot of bashing one time when I got on here in total crisis mode. Just because we have distanced ourselves from our beloved addict does not mean that we cannot get overwhelmed with the really scary situations they have gotten themselves in. This car crash is a very scary situation. The phone call that brought that news to you probably had your adrenaline sky-rocket for days.
Probably what I learned from my experience is that Sober Recovery is not where I post when I'm really vulnerable. The first couple of people to answer are usually okay, but not always. My experience being on that side of the bashing also helps me to be careful about what I say. Lots of times (not always) I stay away from the threads that bring out the "bash" in me.
Hope that helps.