Originally Posted by
Lara 
I think so much has to do with my brother and the memories...
Yes, that was what I was thinking. This is probably bringing all those old feelings back up.
and that for years I have been protecting somebody (H) - who now is responsible for possibly killling 3 people - as I write this - we don't think the one chap is going to make it (the driver of the other car)..... Dear God....I just know how I felt when my brother died - a rage for that responsible driver that I cannot describe....
This is going to sound weird to you but I was just reading yesterday about the concept of Trauma Bonding. And basically what it said was that we will seek out people who are most likely to allow us to re-enact, and therefore try to correct, the traumas of our past. This rather jives with my strongly held belief that life will continue to bring you the same lesson over and over until you learn it. I'm not saying you can't escape the pain of your past, what I'm saying is that until you fully grieve your loss and work through the trauma, you will not be able to release it. Sounds weird but makes sense to me because I keep having the same relationship over and over and over, just like in the movie Groundhog Day. The guy is just a different name and a different face. There is something inside of me that I must change.
The fact that there are so many employed psychologists and therapists and psychiatrists out there tell me I must be onto something.
Take good care of yourself today. If you have a Higher Power, now is the time to pray. It will help calm your anger.