Welcome Meesha
I'd suggest that you have a good read on this forum...that in itself will help to guide you in the right direction.
When I quit, I wanted to be sober more than anything else and i was willing to go to ANY length to make that happen. In my opinion, you have to have had ENOUGH of how you are living.
You can do this Meesha. We're all here to support you
Big hugs