Its so tough isn't it.
My partner has already had a ban from driving, its up now but he hasn't got his licence back.
He would be a perfect father 80% of the time, i know that. His drinking is going in the opposite direction, which probably gives me false hope, for 5 years he drank every night and all day on a weekend (pre me) but now its just fri/sat night and he trys not to get drunk. So this is the part that fools me - the effort that he makes for me... which fools me to thinking that maybe we'll be okay, he's trying so hard, but the problem is as ive learned on here, he seems to be doing it for me. when im not about he slips, so now we spend most of out time together... which i know is wrong.
As for being 35 and childless... well that pains me so much. im not so desperate for a baby that i would have one in any situation (hence the reason that i am 35 and childless!) but i keep seeing a ray of hope as each day he tries to improve... and if it keeps getting better then it seems possible... although with what i learn on here this doesnt seem realistic, but its my situation right now.
i need to find a way to work all this through an being on here helps me with this.
and nope, i dont want a child to pick up his traits, i will only do the right thing in the end.
Liferecovery - thanks for sharing the info about you not having children, its nice to know that i am no the only one as often i feel like it!