Julian,
I was the same as you, but likely worse as I had decades and at the end, the last two years, I was drinking 30-40 units a day from wake up to pass out. I had to have scotch in my coffee and hold it with two hands from the morning hangover shaking. No one can taper off, and the pills weren't the answer for me either. I too would say I was going to quit every day of those last two years and never made it past my coffee in the morning. I smoked three packs a day and was a wreck!
I was trapped, and never hid anything, but my tolerance was so high, I was drinking to be "normal." I never stumbled or slurred, didn't drive except for mornings with a doc appointment. I could not stop. I swore if I could ever break free nothing would entice me to be trapped again.
So I told my doc how bad it had become. And we found I qualified for a VA in hospital medical detox. That was all I needed. To have an easy and safe detox. That was two years ago next month.
See if you can get into a medical detox and follow on 28 day rehab. I never looked back because I knew I could make it, and also because I honestly don't think I would survive a relapse.
We all had to do things differently. We all tried doing the same things over and over that didn't work before, and expected different results.
I was willing to do whatever it took, no conditions.
Are you willing to do whatever it takes too?