Sally,
Welcome to S/R. You are in the right place.
I am sorry about your loss. He sounds like a wonderful man who loved you with all his heart. He would want you to get help so that you are here for your children.
I am 54 and there is a lot of life left for both of us. We can get well and we can move forward and embrace a better future if we are clean and sober. Good luck. It isn't easy, but it is very much worth the fight.
We will find our future, if we are willing to get healthy in body, mind and spirit.
Love
Chrisy