Sorry to hear how much you are still suffering sally,it sounds to me as if you are in the same situation you were in months ago.
As I said before I lost the love of my life 5years before I got sober,many people in recovery have lost loved ones.
Beyond tragic that at your age you have given up.I am sure your late husband would want you to get sober and live happily.
I know you have attended AA in the past,can you get back?
Wishing you well.