Fell off the wagon
As I have stated in my first post I quit my job just over a month ago due to anxiety and drinking. I had a pretty awesome recovery. To think that I went in a matter of a few weeks from being agoraphobic to applying for jobs having interviews and actually getting a job is huge. Not only is it just a job but it is a better job than the one I quit and its with one of the top 25 largest companies in the world. Awesome!!
I first applied 3 weeks ago. A week later I had the interview. Last friday I was told "congratulations" and was offered the job "we'll work on getting you started on monday the 6th". Tired and stressed from waiting but it was worth it, Great!!
After being told the drug screen and backgorund checks should be done by this past wednesday I still didnt recieve a phone call. I was horribly worried about my drug test because I am still on xanax and I'm not sure if they test for it or if it would even be a problem. Agrivated from waiting, absolute bordom, anger, and worried with tense and sore shoulders I decided to drink. Last night I drank again.
This morning I had to make a follow up phone call to find out what was going on with this job.
I was told:
There was a discrepancy in the start date of my second to last employer 13 years ago. I had written the wrong year. They usually disregard dates within a couple of months but they decided to wave mine even though it was a year. Fantastic!!
Hours of on-line paperwork- DONE!
Background checks- DONE!
Drug screen- DONE!
Then I was told "we are working on your start date I'll call you next week" Next week?! What the F**K!!!!!! I was told I was gonna start monday! What is next week? Monday? Tuesday? Friday?
I'm grateful I got the job but I cant sit around anymore this Sh*t is driving me NUTS!
I havent really enjoyed the last 2 nights of drinking but I've been doing it just to kill time and help end the stress and boredom. I watched all the movies I can watch, exercised, read books, walked mile after mile and I'm sick of it. I've hiked so many trails I probably know more about our state forest than all the park rangers put together.
I've accomplished so much in the last month. I'm embarressed to complain when I've been given so much but I dont want to throw it all away on drinking again. I'm feeling the urge to drink again tonight.