It's like some part of me wants to accept I won't beat it and just give in.
It is exactly like that. That is the issue in a nutshell - there is a part of us that wants to drink and drug and use and get high and stay buzzed.
That part of you is the emotional reactive pleasure seeking part of you, gincognito. It is separate from your thinking logical mind, the part that wrote that post. You know what this part of you will do to you and what you will lose.
You don't have to do what this voice says. You get to choose. Many people will tell you otherwise, but I never let others tell me what I cannot achieve. You get to choose.