trouble
I've posted here a few times recently. I've been trying to clean up my act but honestly it seems to be getting worse not better. I was so messed up this morning it took me 45 minutes to walk to the train which usually takes 15. Of course then the train had to be delayed but that's another story. I digress... So what's troubling me is that I can't seem to make it more than a week, and every time I slip it seems more like a death spiral to me. I've been considering taking time off for some sort of rehab but I don't know what the options are and anyways I'm being promoted and it wouldn't look good. I could probably take a week before labor day but I don't know if it's even worth bothering. I've been exercising and hitting a ton of meetings but nothing seems to matter or make a difference any more. It's like some part of me wants to accept I won't beat it and just give in. I wish I could go somewhere far away, cold and deserted and dry out but I have this stupid mortgage to pay. I'm sorry I'm just ranting now really but I guess it beats jumping under a train or something. Thanks