I am not sure if this was a boundary but two years ago I told my AH that I would not live with an active alcoholic and that I would not allow our children to live with one either. We separated - he moved out as I did not want to disrupt my children's (16, 13, 9) lives at the time. It was a crazy chaotic time and I was insane and not working an alanon program. It took 6 months for me to gain my senses back after he moved out and that was primarily through going to alanon.
Two years later, he is sober and has moved back home. He got sober on his own. He suffered a lot of consequences and I was not involved at all.
Our relationship is a mess but we are both more peaceful.
It's funny. Last night we were watching TV and a political ad came on and he starts blathering about the lies and contradictions on the ad. I said, "You know, I really don't care for any of the candidates at this point. They're all a bunch of liars." He said something in a sarcastic retort that basically stated: I don't like your response, you don't agree with me, so now I'll go hide in my office. Honestly, I forgot what he said but it was along the lines of, "Whatever, why'd I say anything anyway?" He didn't like the fact that I didn't want to get into a political discussion and that I stated my own opinion which, obviously, was different from his. So, he went to his office to go do 'work' and hide.
He also decided to snap at me earlier in the day when I asked about his breathalyzer because he had to take the car to get an oil change. He just kept snapping, "I got this. I know what to do." Geez, I was just trying to make conversation. Note to self: don't talk about the interlock device, UGH!
Even though my AH was not drinking, he still exhibited behavior similar to what you describe above and it is only in the last month that he is starting to recognize this and I have been able to set what I believe are my boundaries for the kind of relationship I will be in. - I will not engage with someone who has no consideration for my thoughts and opinions.
I am learning to set boundaries and I believe there are some boundaries in place that my now recovering AH is learning how to honor.
This is working for me now but before we came to this point about a year ago, I did tell my AH that if he wasn't able to manage his alcoholism such that we could live together than I was going to move toward a divorce.
As I said, he suffered a lot of consequences and not being part of the family was only a portion. I think the biggest impetus for him to stop drinking was consequences he would eventually face in the workplace, with his reputation and his future livelihood.
I think the alcohol hid some of the true person and the commitment and love that was expressed to me before the alcoholism got really bad was not as sincere as I thought it was. My RAH primarily looks out for his own best interests whether drinking or not and because I have been with him for over 25 years I may not always realize the lack of affection and partnership that others may have in their relationships. It is what it is and is working for me and the only person I can change is myself.
I hope you focus on what is best for you to feel peaceful and safe. IMO living out of your car is not a good option, so I do hope you think through this and make the best plans for yourself.
(((HUGS)))