He then proceeded to tell me that although he loves me and my kids, coming home to us is a "burden" and he has to be able to come to the bar and unwind first.
i got told this all the time when my xabf and i first started dating. i guess i should have listened to him when he told me that my coming over was disruptive to his routine. could've saved me two years and a lot of heartache. he *loved* me again...until i got in his way again. i'm sorry he said such a hateful thing to you. seems to me like he's the burden.
I could never figure that question out myself. I felt like I couldn't pry my AXBF out of the bar with a crowbar. He claimed that he liked to go there and be sociable with people. Fine, but there are other ways to be sociable without spending all your money on booze, ruining your health and generally driving your GF crazy. Know what I mean? They like to go and socialize with other drinkers, you know the ones who are also alcoholics and won't judge them for having 6 martinis.
according to my xabf, there is no way to be social without alcohol. he talked down to me because i don't drink and shot down every sober activity that i suggested. funny thing is...i do LOTS of sociable things without alcohol ALL THE TIME. he, however, rarely does anything without a drink and only values the opinions of his drinking buddies. what a sad way to enjoy this wonderful world.