So I feel okay. Except...the fact that his bender after two months of not drinking coincided with talking with me really upsets me. I feel that, despite what he said, he is essentially telling me that I caused him to relapse.
There are plenty of excuses but no reasons for drinking. Active alcoholics typically blame other people or situations for their drinking. You are not to blame, it is his decision to pick up a bottle. I'm a recovering alcoholic and trust me, during the past 20 years of sobriety there have been plenty of objectionable people and stressful situations I didn't drink over. I learned how to deal with life on life's terms in AA. There's nothing you can say or do that will stop his drinking, we're powerless over other people and their diseases. But we are responsible for ourselves and creating the quality of life we live.