one of the most thought provoking quotes i have read lately is "we accept the love we think we deserve" it made me really take a look at myself, and it really explained my past. one of the best thing i have done lately - besides get sober - is to work on my self esteem and self confidence. theres a lot of resources and maybe you can find some that will help you. i work on it daily and i know what you are feeling. humbleness is overrated jk : ) God bless and i hope you find peace.