Oh no, i did it!
i have had a terrible day. I tried all day long to keep it together and not have a "freak out" moment. Panic. I did good.
But tonight, i am having a really hard time. I want him back. I miss him. He is in recovery and seems to be doing good. I am happy for him.
I called him. He did not answer (i guess i should see that as a good sign). And i did not leave a message.
I think what is going on is that i try to keep myself busy and go do a lot of things with my son. We went swimming today and it just made me sad that we were not there as a family. I also seem to be surrounded by happy couples. I am happy for them, but it still makes me long for that too.
This is so confusing, because i know most likeley (SP?) him and i would never be that happy couple, but on the other hand i want us to be. Then i think of all the things he has done "bad", then all the good things and it just puts me on a roller coaster - and i hate those!
thanks for listening...