Dear octoberrain,
I have suffered from the disease depression all my adult life. I am not a medical professional but what you are describing on this thread about yourself is all VERY familiar to me. Please call the doctor and get evaluated for depression. You do not want to wait until "the straw that broke the camel's back." Please trust me on this. When you untreated depression and you do not seek treatment, it is like breaking your leg and continuing to walk on it. You want to avoid a major depressive episode. I have had at least 3 of these, and I can say with no uncertainty that they change your brain. Once you have one, something happens and you cannot reverse the damage. Just like that broken leg that was left untreated and walked on. You do not have to stay on the medicine for life. You can make a commitment for a certain number of months, and then have the dr take you off them.
Please, if you are crying all day there is something wrong. Please go to the doctor.