Sazzle

Hello, me again!

I made it through Day 2, but had a sad realisation about a friendship.

I have a friend who thinks that encouraging me involves being quite controlling. He is generally quite lovely but recently has started to pick on me! He knows I want to change my lifestyle and get my health back on track.

As I said in my first post, I have just tapered off Citalopram (Celexa) and so I'm still feeling quite delicate/vulnerable. I joined the gym last week with him and so far I have been too tired to go. I've also got mild lymphodema and the heat in the UK at the moment means I have to move around every 20 mins, put my feet up and generally feel miserable. The Gym, although it is in my recovery plan, is not what I needed yesterday at 06:30! He gave me quite a bit of stick for not making it, called me lazy and said 'whatever' when I said I felt too uncomfortable to go and 06:30 was way too early at the moment anyway.

I also saw a different side to him last night. We have just been received our Bonuses at work and I have done much, much better than he has. He kept asking how I met all my targets, telling me that the system was unfair. I pointed out that I received a staff excellence award for one of my key projects, so I must have done something right. Perhaps the dynamic has shifted in our friendship as I now earn much more than him now (and I'm a little woman, how terribly unfair!!)

I had an urge to drink as I felt attacked. I didn't. Diet lemonade in the pub - double win for sobriety and weightloss! There were other friends there and I refused to let him affect my actions by leaving or drinking. His negative and digging comments reminded me of my ExBF. We split up last year as I couldn't take his 'tough love' comments.

After all the lovely support on this forum yesterday my friend's attitude really struck me. I think I need to reassess our friendship as right now I want to be surrounded by kind supporting people, not bitter jealous ones.

Sorry, this has turned into an essay again where all I really wanted to say is: Day 3 is here. I hear it's the hardest. I resisted the urge to drink last night. I have two work colleague leaving Do's in the same pub tonight and I need an exit strategy and was looking for your experience and suggestions.

I'd like to go straight home, but I got one of the leavers her new job and she is so excited about it she wants to see me there to thank me. (She knows I'm not drinking and it's no biggie to her as she doesn't drink anyway). It's the other leaver: big drinker, rowdy friends etc.

My plan is to stay for one or two diet lemonades and then leave as I need to fit my car exhaust and front tyres tomorrow morning. If I have a saturday plan, that is half the battle as I have discovered over the last few months of 'moderation'.

Happy Friday

Sx