Originally Posted by liv1ce

I wish I could take pills too but I can't and I don't think you will find anyone here who can except someone's family member. That is a really hard part because not only do you have to quit to get cleaned up but you have to quit forever. You have proven to yourself that you belong here with the rest of us - a really good group by the way - and that as much as you enjoy getting high you have to find another something to be equally passionate about. Your son for example.

Remember that there is a beast inside you who loves nothing other than getting high and will do ANYTHING to get there. He/she/it is losing control and is starving for attention. It will niggle at you constantly for a while to let it have "just a little taste." And by the way "what would one more time hurt?" "You can start again tomorrow so what damage is done?"

It will put pills in your mind. It will put pills in your imagination. It will find pills where you forgot you stashed them. Think about that last one as this can occur and you need to have already made a decision what you will do. As soon as you find it - or someone gives it to you - you must take it and flush it. I am around the damn stuff all the time. A couple weeks ago I was all alone in a house where there was a fresh bottle of 250 oxy 30's. I know for a fact that I could have taken as many if not more than 100 of them and no one would have noticed. I know this person and she has no idea what she has or how many and would never have missed them. I had already decided what I was going to do as I knew this would occur at some time. There was no decision to be made as I turned and walked away. The beast niggled at me for a couple hours but I gave him no help.
I walked away after about 70 days of being clean but jumped in with both feet after being clean for 10 years 3 years ago. It took me those three years in hell to find my way back. It never stops. You will never be "cured." You can never use again.