Liv1ce and Opio - thank you for the replies!! I really appreciate it. It is nice to know that someone is listening out there.
Starting day 2 today. Not doing so bad actually.... I have a little bit of the chills and I plan on going and taking a hot shower when I am done on here to warm up. I also have a little bit of anxiety, but I am trying not to focus on it too much. I am also taking this all natural anxiety medicine from hylands called Calm Forte. It helps relax you some. I took a smaller dose this morning than I normally do, so maybe it is time to go and take a couple more.
I just really want to make it through this. I have gone back and forth so many times it is ridiculous. When is enough, enough?? Besides wanting to do this for myself, I really, really want to do this for my son. He is my entire world and I feel like he deserves so much better from me. I am lucky that my parents are taking him for a couple of days so I can hopefully get through the w/d's and be able to take care of him when I am done.
I'll be honest and say that I am thinking about pills. Not really thinking about how to get some... cause I really don't have a way to do that. But just thinking about them, in an 'oh, I kinda miss being high all day.' How pathetic is that... Sometimes wish that I could be one of those people that could take or leave pain medication. Take it when I really need it and set it down when i don't. I know that I can't be, have already proved to myself that I can't be that person, but sometimes wish that I could.
Anyway, thanks for listening to my rambling. I am sure that I will be back as things get worse.