Hi all.
Well, Addict Emergency...
My xAH harrrasses me all day yesterday via text messaging. Mind you, restraining order. My boundary in regards to the order...I only will communicate if it involves the children. He already violated the order once and I had him arrested. I am waiting for the scheduled court date for that issue. I document everything. Wonderful app for the iPhone called SMS export. You can backup the text messages you want to save print them and then delete them from your phone so you don't have them ever present in your face. I was saving everything on my phone for court and it was driving me insane to have them in my face all day. Thank you to my IT department who helped me.
Back to my post...
So, harrassment is he needs to borrow my car for work today. His truck is in the shop. I say no. He continues to be relentless. I say no. He can do one of several things:
1. rent a car
2. call his parents
3. call one of his sisters
4. get a ride from a friend/neighbor
5. public transportation
6. ask his daughter for a ride.
No, he wants my vehicle for the day. He has no insurance, has multiple traffic violations and a CDS possession in a motor vehicle charge pending court date AND is actively using. Sure...let me just give you the keys to my car and I will just rearrange my day for you. NOT!!! So I stand firm with no and proceed with my evening and come to work today.
This morning I receive a text he was laid off becuz I would not allow him to use MY car and he was forced to call out of work. Really?!!!
If he can figure out a way to go buy his drugs then he can figure out a way to get to work. We live separate lives and he can manage just fine. Still no accountability or responsibility for his actions or consequences.
NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE!!! I rode the ride, got the t-shirt.
I truly believe we can love our addicts to death. I can't rescue him. Helping him will only help him to continue to use and face no consequences. So what incentive would there be to stop using drugs? None.
Awareness and acceptance is the key to moving forward in my life. He will never get clean unless he hits his bottom. This is his business not mine. He will continue to be in denial because he will not accept responsibility for anything. Again, not my concern.
Love the word NO!!! When I have to THINK (thoughtful, honest, intelligent, necessary, kind) and it all escapes me it is such a relief to say No. When I want to scream your stupid a$s fault you have no credit card to rent a car because all your money went to drugs...I can just say No. When I want to say all the money you spent on drugs you could have a brand new car...I can just say No.
Just for today...I will continue to work my program.
I start a second job next week to supplement my income. I worry about ME and MY children. He is a grown man and I am not his mother. I only had two children not three.
Thank you all for letting me vent! Thank you all for your continued support.
Hugs.
Marlene
