After I'd been to the chemists and told the pharmacist "I want to make it quite clear I don't have a problem." (pause) "Why can't I stop drinking?"
Looking back, there were things I shouldn't have ignored (it seems), but did.
Drinking alone
Drinking in the morning
Only liking myself when I was buzzed
Telling myself that "I clearly can't quit, so I might as well just accept that and carry on."
Telling folks that "I can drink like nice people."
Wondering how people can sit in a pub with the same drink in front of them for half an hour.
Arguing (with myself) that 'Sitting alone in a pub at 11am would be sad.' And then buying a bottle to take home. (Not two, I could have got two for only slightly more, because 'You'll drink both of them')
Going to meet my friends in a pub before a party, seeing they weren't there and realising that if I stayed in the pub on my own, I wouldn't get to the party because I'd just keep drinking.