Well, when I first met him, I was in a total different state of mind. Recently divorced, lost three people including my dad within a 6 month period, had no kids, lived at the beach, wasn't looking for anything serious....
me and him, just kind of happened, like a train wreck, then I got pregnant. I was always ALWAYS responsible before I met him and after I met him and getting divorced, I just didn't care for a while.
Once my son was born, it was back to responsible. Shaking him has been an accumulation of trying to do the right thing for my son in providing him a good home and getting him to quit the drinking. I couldn't get him to quit drinking but I could continue to be responsible. I chose responsibility. I am doing what I know I have to do for my 2 year old. I know I will see warning signs next time, because frankly, if you have a beer in your hand or like to spend any amount of time in a bar, i'm out. LOL. Easy enough.