Oxy withdrawals... again
Ok... so I have been a member here on and off since last November. I just went and changed my sobriety date on my profile and thought to myself if only I had stayed off of them way back then!! Anyway, I was taking pain medication for legitimate pain. But that doesn't really matter, because I tend to take more and more to get the same effects and before I know it 120 15mg pills of oxy are lasting me 7-10 days. Then I spend 3 weeks going though withdrawals or trying to get my grubby little hands on anything so I don't have to feel like crud.
I really have had enough of this lifestyle. It is slowly tearing my life apart. As well as my relationships with my family and friends. Of course when I have the meds, then I am super mom and can do whatever. But when i don't, I am tired, irritable and can barely move. I can't continue to do this to my son. I want to be a better parent to him. And being unemployed, living in a crappy apartment and realizing that my life has become stagnant is just not an option anymore.
I have been through the w/d's enough to know what I am in for physically. I do believe that I can survive that. The only thing that really gets to me is the anxiety and lack of sleep. Oh, and the chills... I hate the chills. I have some emails into a couple of counselors that specialize in addiction. I am hoping to hear back from one of them soon so I can set up an appointment and go and talk to someone. I have also looked up NA meetings in my area. I am not sure if I will go that route yet, but I am leaving it open as an option.
I know I have been here before, But I would appreciate any support, advice, really anything that anyone has to offer. I plan on posting a lot - especially when I really start to feel crappy, like later tonight and tomorrow!!