Not Missing Him
I am really not missing the XA for the first time in five years. Apparently I practiced the detachment thing pretty well.
I do still feel sorry for the way things turned out for him. He lost me, his baby, his house and his job all in three days time. It was amazing to me though, that he went immediately back to drinking all while lying to his family of origin that he hadn't had a drink or a drop since the Friday he was out of jail. I saw him drinking Sunday when I had him removed from our home. I found an empty pint and saw empty beer bottles all over the house. I noticed upon re-entry after he removed some of his items that he had also emptied the trash. I am sure he did this so that his brother wouldn't see that he really was drinking.
I just don't get how you can have your life change so dramatically, have your girlfriend telling you for years to quit drinking or she is leaving, have a hammer dropped on your life and STILL drink and blame others for your problems. It is truly amazing the hold that alcohol has on a person's brain and soul. It is gut wrenching and just plain sad. I have never met such a demon as alcohol. With illegal drugs the assumption is that the are bad. Most people, even the addict, knows that they are consumed by an illegal drug because it is illegal. With alcohol, the stuff is a legal poison. The alcoholic can go to virtually any corner in the country and medicate himself/herself to death. Such a shame and a waste of life. The collateral damage is amazing.