I can relate to you. I hold a lot of resentment for stuff that when I look back, I wonder why I'm still hanging on to it. My whole family is like that. Sometimes I'll get in an argument with my mom and she will bring up things that happened YEARS before. I didn't even remember it, so I think some of it could be learned behavior. Maybe you should work through the steps without getting your husband too invovled? He most likely won't understand, and theres no reason to fight over it.