Welcome to the SR family!
Thank you for taking the time to introduce yourself. I hope you will continue to post as often as needed.
Some of our stories are in the sticky posts (older permanent posts) at the top of this main forum page. I am always finding wisdom in those posts.
You mention that your husband stopped drinking 3 years ago, but you don't mention if he did any recovery work with a counselor, support group or self-improvement materials. Did he do anything more than put down the alcohol?
What about you? You don't mention what steps you have taken to address codependency or the anxiety of having lived with active alcoholism.
What helped me was reading and posting on SR, attending Alanon meetings, and reading self-improvement books like "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie, and "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay.
Stick around, we care about you!