OH, WOW. I would always get hooked when my A's acted sweet (mine are family). I did not grow up with alcohol, so I did not understand the nature of the disease. I thought I was dealing with normal people when they weren't drunk. NOT. Unless they have some recovery under their belt---you are still dealing with the same monster disease. Recovery is more than the absence of alcohol---it is a new way of thinking and behaving.
Reading about the disease, co-dependency, and joining a twelve-step group can help you to think of the 'monster disease' in a new way yourself.
I have gotten so much better at dealing with the manipulation---plus, I also kicked them out of the house.
dandylion