Spes

Hi Chrissy,

Everyone here gave excellent advice about checking with your local laws since they vary from State to State and even varies by jurisdiction within the same State. Also, almost all States have a Domestic Violence advocate office that will talk to you and give you options.

I can give you general information that may help you from my experience in Probation.

The key word in your post above is "scared". Also, the specific charge that may be applied to your xbf may be felony stalking.

Generally, if you feel threatended by another person and that person is/was an in a relationship with you, you can generally get a domestic violence restaining order from the Court that prohibits him from contact with you by any means and also to keep a specific distance from you usually 1,000 feet which would cover him from moving into your building. Violation of this Protection Order will result in a contempt charge and, in most jurisdictions, will result in immediate arrest by the Police to set that contempt charge with the Court.

A lot will depend on any calls to the Police or other records that existed from when you were living together. I did read your first post and saw where there was violence. Even if you do not come under any Domestic Violence statutes in your state because he has already left your home, you may still be covered by the DV laws....your Domestic Violence advocate or, as DesertEyes recommended, your Women's shelter can also advise you.

Even if you are not covered by DV laws, and I think you are because the prior relationship constitues a nexus, you are certainly allowed to live your life in peace without fear of another person bothering you in any way. A restraining order or Protection Order from the Court can be granted regardless of the relationship. By that, I mean, the Order will indicate he is an "ex" or a prior relationship existed.

Generally speaking, you would go to the Court and file for a "temporary order" from the Court. You would go to a brief hearing (without him being present) and ask the Judge for a temporary order. Taking the DV advocate with you to the hearing, or talking to the prosecuting attorney assigned by the state to your Court, is a good idea. Once the Order is granted, then the Court will serve your xbf with the Order because it cannot be enforced without him having been served with a copy of the Order. At that time, your local Police Department will have his name on a hotsheet and will usually patrol your neighbourhood with that knowledge.

At some point, depending on your jurisdiction, you and he will have a hearing for a Permanent Order that is generally good for at least a year. The Court will be sympathetic to the nature of the order and keep you two apart in the hearing room. I would recommend you take a friend with you to the hearing for support. The permanent order will look like the temporary order except be for a longer duration.

Keep a copy of the order with you at all times in case you need to call the Police. While they do have access to the information from their dispatch, showing it to them at the moment of violation will save time.

Until you get this order or after you get it, anytime you fear for your safety and he is in your presense and causing that fear, call the Police. I will be very honest with you in saying that, in more cases than not, the Police may not do anything and you will become frustrated. The reason is that, believe it or not, 90% of all DV arrests result in the victim not pressing charges in Court and the court releases the bad person and the Police feel they worked for nothing. Just stay with it and they will soon see that you are serious and will stay with it. In any case, they must take a report and you have the right to request a copy of the reports under your State's records request statutes.

When you get the Protection Order the Police must arrest him if he violates the Order because, from that point on, it is between the State and him, not you and him, with respect to how the Police deal with it.

I hope this answered your questions. I do know that this is scary for you but learn all you can with respect to your State and Local laws. Document everything including saving your text messages. Usually, the Police will request you go to the station and an admin person there will transcribe your text messages to build the case for the Permanent Order. Start keeping a journal of specific dates from what you can remember from the past and everything in the future. Also, while you have the right to be anywhere you want to be, I would recommend thinking "safely". Try not to put yourself in a situation of danger, at least until you have a Protection Order. Even then, think "safety"; your life and right to be anywhere isn't worth losing your life over.

Finally, remember this is general advice. I only have experience in 2 States and, even in those two States, each local jurisdiction has variations to the process I wrote. I hope you find this information helpful.