You have to be honest with yourself. Why do you allow him to treat you like this? My AH has mistreated me for 3 years on and off now, together for 6, and I've gone around in this circle so many times. My AH literally told me he'd always come back because he knew he could. You deserve better. I am not even saying he is a bad person, but you have to break the cycle or else it could continue for life! Do things you like to do, treat yourself...work on you. As great as his words sound, remember they always sound good, but now look at his actions. Take care and keep posting, it helps.