Originally Posted by
Carol Star 
My "part" is my reaction to it........I can walk away......not engage with the craziness, not say something more hurtful to make it bigger......There is an exercise I heard about in an Alanon meeting- Write on the left side of a piece of paper everything anybody had done to me, on the right side write my reactions. My "part" is the right side. I had a pattern- going back years and years even though situations and people changed- I 1. was too sensitive, 2. got too angry, 3. overreacted........NOW I am aware of it- see it- feel it in my body (your body will tell you)......this is why exercise is so good to displace bad emotions.......it moves them.......but they also move on their own.......Latin for emotion- is "to move".
Carol, I love that idea because I know I kept a 'scorecard', as well. It's definitely one of my faults. And, yes, it's because I'd get sucked back in to his ranting and raving and trying to defend myself so I'd 'one up' him. That has got to stop.
Thank you for sharing this exercise, I think I will do this next week while still on vacation.
As to the original poster and the topic here. Yes, I have had things thrown in my face but it's usually more about blame. Something breaks in the house and it's my fault. One day the garage door wasn't working, the remotes weren't communicating with the door so it was obviously my fault and I must have pushed a button on the outside key pad to make it unresponsive, etc. He was steaming mad and I swear his eyeballs were RED. I started defending myself about something that I had no idea what was even happening. I made up stuff to just try to get him to stop yelling at me and accusing me of something I didn't do. It's craziness. And, this fight happened way back before he picked up the drink again! We had so many altercations like this: it's your fault I can't find my stylus for my handheld device, it's your fault I kept drinking, it's your fault that I had to hide the drinking, it's your fault that the internet isn't working because you must be downloading some stupid game, it's your fault that the lawnmower isn't working because you put the wrong oil in it, etc. And, he was wrong on every occasion but I believed every word he said. DUH.