Welcome
Kim,
Welcome to SR!! I am a 37 y/o man with a 14 yr old daughter and a 17 year old daughter. Your story is so similar to mine that it is scary. I am recovering from alcohol as well of over 20 years of daily beer. My ex-father in law was the exact same as your story (including the gastric surgery) and moved from beer to vodka as well. He was a very successful real-estate agent and very well off financially so the only people that really knew were close family. We tried desperately to help him with this problem as he would end up in the hospital and have to have daily injections of vitamins (alcoholics cannot digest certain vitamins naturally and have to be injected) and his throat cotterized to stop the internal bleeding once in awhile. Of course he would make excuses for this such as the flu, or left over complications of the surgery....quack, quack, quack. He was found alone in his home (2 days post-mortem) with a half empty gallon of vodka on the table and one unopened in the fridge. He was not what one would picture as a "drunk". For that matter, neither am I but I was very badly. He was a very good man but a very bad alcoholic. My children were very close to him and this hurt them deeply and still does. You would have thought that this would have been a true wake-up call for me but I would still suck down a case or better a day and just say "well, I am not like that" or "It's just a few beers to chill me out, it's not the same, he had other health problems". I woke up late last year to the fact that I had a severe problem and have given up drinking forever. I slipped a few times but finally got the point several months ago. It will take time and a lot of work to truly fix things (not a quick fix or smoothing things over), but the good news is that it can be done. I too take Lexapro along with Gabitril for anxiety, however, I do not drink. Coffee, water, juice or soda is my drink now.
You can do this!!! You are not alone and this is not something that cannot be fixed. There are sunny days ahead!!!
Peace and Prayers,
Roy