Hey Bristolgirl07,
I saw another post that you did, "Broken up with for a coke habit", and there's a line in there that really stood out to me:
"He told me that I made him nervous and that being around a friend of a friend who is a police officer also made him nervous."
My addicted ex-gf also said that was one of the reasons why she used. Her drugs of choice were opiates and alcohol. She was self-medicating for whatever issues she had. She was beautiful and funny. Her temperament was always up and down though. One minute hot, the next cold. They can be the sweetest people in the world, but also the nastiest. Long-term use of drugs changes people. It changes their brain chemistry. I did research and read a lot on addiction in trying to understand my ex and help her, because like many others I thought I could. She always chose drugs and other druggies over me. Addicts will drag you down with them.
I would recommend reading these two books:
The Science of Addiction: From Neurobiology to Treatment by Carlton K. Erickson
The Addiction Solution: Unraveling the Mysteries of Addiction through Cutting-Edge Brain Science by David Kipper MD
Some people don't agree with what these two books have to say, but to me it made complete sense. We're not addicts so we will never fully understand addicts; but these two books really helped me in trying to grasp some understanding.
I agree with many people on here who say drug use is the covering up of much deeper issues. Someone else posted on here that the harm in recreational drug use is that nobody knows that they are going to become addicted. I think reading those two books will help you understand why there are those that become addicted and those that do not. In my opinion someone that has been a long term recreational user is an addict.
My relationship ended three months ago when my ex completely disappeared on me. The last I heard from her was from her mom telling me she was in the hospital. She OD again. She had already OD a month before that and was also hospitalized. I didn't know if she was dead or alive for months. I have only recently found out that she's in rehab. I have cut off all contact with her. Never again will I date someone that does drugs, even just recreational. I stay completely away from all that because of how hurtful and dramatizing this relationship has been to me. Drugs terrify me now. There are plenty of stories you can read on here that all have similar themes with similar endings.
Just be glad that you dodged a bullet and remember that you deserve so much better!
Congrats on your 10K, btw!