Welcome to the team, MysteriousGrl. That was a great post with lots to think about. If I can share my thoughts...
Acceptance, admittance, ugh.. I haven't even completed step one yet. Only in due time, when I finally admit and accept.
For me, nothing happened until I admitted that alcohol was a big problem for me, and I accepted responsibility for my drinking and what it was doing. Time for me to put on the Big Boy Pants.
I do think I'm finally getting towards that first step (without books and steps because I'm a hard headed +person+). It has to be on my self absorbed terms.
One step is all that is really needed - just stop drinking.
It's MY fault. I have control, if only I steer myself in the right direction.
This is absolutely true, MysteriousGrl, you do have control. Make sure you maintain that control because you have a lot at stake here.
There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with your thinking to me. You recognize a problem, you see the solution, and you are taking responsibility for your actions.
I agree that in order to find your own personal solution, you need to keep an open mind and explore what others have done. Do some research, look for evidence and make an informed decision about which way you choose to have your journey take you.
Trust in your ability to do what is right for you. Once you have that confidence, go do it! I believe in you, and you will turn out just fine.