Outtolunch- you are right, it is definitely a boundry and not an ultimatum. I am glad you put that part in perspective for me. Yes it is definitely for life, I certainly won't forget that ever. I really don't thInk I could even date a recovered alcoholic (except this bum that is on his way out the door) after this relationship is over for fear of relapse.
Btw- it looks like I'll be looking for more advice on how to get him out and survive single motherhood then how to deal with a recovering addict.