evilk - I relate completely. Long ago, my husband and I were the same type of drinkers. What we evolved into was tragic. No one ever questioned it, just kept trying to control it - with disastrous results. We didn't want the party to end, but it did - in a way we could never have imagined or predicted. (He is gone now, and I'm finally 4-1/2 yrs. sober, thanks to SR.)
You've taken a brave step. I'm glad you're here and willing to discuss what's going on. We're all with you.