ds, when I am very upset I tend to make decisions based on fear and revenge... many of which I regret soon down the line.
Talk to your sober friends and take advice from them. My sponsor saved my bacon more times than I can count.
Things are seldom as bad as I see them on a bad day... nor as good as I see them on a good day.
Prayers for truth, sanity and acceptance to you.
All the best.
Bob R