Didn't drink last night
Formal introduction...evilk is just fine for now. I've been wanting to quit for a long time now. My husband and I are very heavy drinkers. We drink at home pretty much. There's always a bottle or a second stashed. When garbage day comes around and we take out the garbage from our bedroom, I'm always surprised at just how many empties there are. I've been trying to get healthy for awhile now. I'm eating better and exercising, but eventually I just say screw it because I'm not losing weight anyway. I'm sure the booze is a major factor.
So yesterday was my first post. I left work taking a 1/2 day because I just couldn't be here. I knew I still had alcohol in my blood and I felt awful. I told my husband last night after he poured my welcome home shot that I wasn't going to drink and he said, "Good for you!" I told him it's been affecting me badly and I want to stop and I think he should too. (We've talked like this before) He just said yeah... and when I went downstairs to refill my water, I heard him pouring another shot. He knew I wasn't feeling well, so we just kind of hung out around the house. Got some food, watched movies in bed. Despite the temptation, I didn't drink last night. Tonight is Friday and I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff though. Usually we pick up the "big bottle"(1.75 of whiskey) on the way home from work and the first shot is before we get home...
I started with just a couple drinks on the weekend occasionally when we met and I can now keep up with my husband. I'm not saying it's his fault, but I wanted to have fun along with him. Otherwise it's like we're in 2 separate worlds. I like getting buzzy with him. We have fun...mostly. Sometimes I have too much and I'm not so much fun, but I really hate what it's doing do me physically and emotionally. Like right now. My head feels spinny and I didn't even drink last night.
I did well, but I'll be feeling better later. I guess I'm really worried about when the "Never drink again" feeling wears off. It always does.