Welcome to SR. You will get a lot of support here and experience, strength and hope (ESP).
The spot you find yourself in is emotionally exhausting and bewildering but you are on the right path and in time you will find clarity and even some peace and serenity if you keep seeking it... when we come to understand the truth and reality of loving an alcoholic and begin to make decisions and create boundaries we find that change is not easy but is the truly loving thing to do for all concerned.
What you have heard from others is very true ... we cannot wish recovery on anyone as they must desire and seek it themselves. What we can do as loved ones is "raise the bottom" so to speak by learning how we can create healthy boundaries four ourselves and our loved ones.
Loving an alcoholic and coping with their addiction under the same roof is a huge challenge and alcoholism is progressive...it will get worse... usually much worse.
I have been there and what helped me were several things... alanon, counseling with an addictions specialist, this website and reading, reading, reading, reading... everything I could get my hands on regarding addiction and codependency.
Soak up information... knowledge is power and when you start seeing the "whole picture" you will be in a better place to make decisions about how to deal with your alcoholic loved one.