Thank you everyone for your replies. I wasnt sure how common this was, but I was able to find a little bit about it on soem other recovery sites too.
I really think from his attitude and behavior; he hasnt taken the next step yet. But I think you are absoultely right, he is having a relapse in his mind, and letting himself go there. He admitted as much, and said what was stopping him is that he doesnt want to go down that road again, he remembers all he lost, and knows how hard he has worked to rebuild his life, career, relationships.
I honestly think the drug test required by his employer is also a big factor because he knows he cant really hide it if he starts.
Things have been fine between us; I would not have suspected anything other tha nmild stress, if I had not stumbled upon the needles in his duffle (not snooping, I was just taking out clothes for the laundry)
Im hoping his Dr, appointments will get him back on track. We have a vacation coming up, and I told him that if he wanted to use that time to focus on himself, if he needed some inpatient, or anything like that. It was fine with me. His health is whats most important. He swears no he is going to be ok.
Thank you so much for your input and everything. I have gone through one relapse with him, but it was not injecting; it was snorting coke and it only lasted a couple of days and thats when he started seeing the psychiatrist to help him.
HEWHOSLEEPS,
thank you for sharing yoru personal story. So similiar our two guys. I know my boyfriend really did go to the dr and I think he is telling me the truth about how he got the supplies, but Ive had people say no, that makes no sense he is lying. But like you, its like why lie about that? Because no, I dont think it is illegal to buy needles, or syringes, or saline. I really think he somehow just had the opportunity and he grabbed some. Its hard to understand, because I cant relate to enjoying getting jabbed with a needle. he texplained it to me about how it makes him feel, and he says its so far from the real thing but still.... hes setting himself up getting comfortable with this , and then the rest becomes easier.