Welcome Elroy!
I don't think any of us intentionally set out to hurt ourselves or those we love. We just happen to be one of a million others like us that are susceptible to alcohol addiction. What's so great is that you've recognized a problem and are willing to find a solution. Even though it doesn't feel good right now, it really is a huge step in the right direction!
Keep reading and posting..... and make some fun and different plans for the weekend that have no relation to alcohol. Glad you're here!