I feel like we made some progress with “the kid” this weekend. I know it may mean nothing and he may go get himself loaded even tonight.
Yesterday my husband took him out on his boat, and they spend most the day. My husband loaded of cooler of soda and vitamin water for them. They came back late in the day and seemed like they both had a good time. My husband wanted to take me out to dinner so as not to neglect me, and “ the kid” seemed kind of left out, so my husband asked him if he had a sober friend maybe he wanted to invite over to play pool in the basement, order a pizza or something like that. But he warned him about no friends bringing drugs or alcohol, or he would be responsible for their actions and it was breaking the house rules. He said no, he would just stay and order a pizza and maybe watch tv. Of course, we felt guilty and invited him to come along.
But here is the thing. We were asking him about his friends, and didn’t he have some that were not into drugs or drinking? He said he lost a lot of his friends, and he had withdrawn from classes during Fall and Winter after his dad died (oh, by the way found out he swindled his mom out of tuition for winter and dropped in time to get it all back and didn’t tell her; part of what prompted her to send him to rehab).
He said all his old friends from high school have moved on mostly, or they wont be around him because they know he was into drugs, and drinking ,went to rehab, lost his dad. And his mom he says has talked about him to everyone, and had people praying for him and it was embarrassing to him. Then I found out he used to go to church with his parents and he had friends there, but now he says he wont go there with his mom, and hes too ashamed around all those people.
So my husband and I go to this large church, and it has a lot of social activities for singles, so I asked him at dinner if maybe he would like to go with us today, and he could start all new with people who don’t know him. He said no, and I dropped it. My husband told him about all the cute girls and maybe that had some influence, but this morning he said maybe he would go with us if it was ok.
He went. The kid went to church voluntarily. He didn’t really talk to anyone, but he did pick up a bulletin that told the website, and some upcoming events going on. And Im not saying anything else about it to him, except I asked him later if it was ok, and he said yes. And I just smiled at him.
I know means nothing really. But he could have went out last night and got high when we were at dinner. He could have invited drug friends over and later lied to us, he could have got high while we went to church. But he didn’t.
Im getting sucked into caring dang it all. Just like some of you said might happen.