britchic1

Hi,

I am new to this site... I recently exited a verbally abusive relationship with an alcoholic/drug abuser (only pot to my knowledge, nothing "horrible"). The relationship went back and forth for about a year, make up/break up, etc. and finally he seems to have moved on and doesn't want me anymore.

I feel so unneeded
I feel so unloved
The fears that I'm "not good enough" seem to again be surfacing
I feel empty without him even though it was so bad, as we talked every day.

I grew up as a pastor's kid, but in a highly disfunctional family. My mom was daughter of an abusive alcoholic and my dad is very controlling. They are great people but were very absent and I cant seem to obtain good relationship skills as an adult and on my own.

I just wanted to fit in, and it seems like my ex cared about me and provided me with a lot of fun and mutual friends. I have my own big time problems, struggling with bulimia and serious depression.. when I found him and busied my life up with other things, I was able to end the bulimia totally, though I seem to be seeping back into depression. My ex was into drugs, alcohol... and so were his friends.. but I finally didn't feel alone, instead I felt included and cared about. I always seem to feel alone unless I'm in the drama of a bad relationship.. How can I just meet good people who are able to have a relationship with me... as a single 34 y/o it seems everyone is married or highly disfunctional..

Anyway, I am sorry for rambling. I guess this is my selfish way of reaching out and hoping for some understanding. I have an interview tomorrow for a new job (yay) since my current contract is ending, and would love to be in a good emotional state... but it's just so hard feeling abandoned..

Thank you and hope you are all having a nice Sunday.