Just as I was a child, going thru physical, verbal
abuse at the hand of a sick, beautiful, functioning
mother, ridiculed and bullied all thru out grade school
and high school, did I ever imagine leaving home at
18 to try and replace the unhappy childhood I had.
I did imagine getting married and having a little family,
wishing for a boy and girl and being blessed with them.
I did wish to not abuse my babies like I was and was
blessed to not do so.
I look back and remembered stealing a plastic prayer
card that was inside my mothers bible. It was the Serenity
Prayer, and little did I know how that prayer would become
something significant in my life yrs later. Of course at
that time it was incomprehensible. I also remember finding
a piece of paper in the back pew with a prayer written on
it at the church we went to in high school say, "whatever
you wish for in a prayer, believe that you recieved it and
it shall be yours says the Lord."
Little did I know back in the day that that little prayer
would stay with me and be used when my life was in
turmoil.
Its amazing to me as I look back on my life how
I never comprended what my life would turn out
to be. The difficult days that passed one by one
to finally get to a place where I honesly feel free.
Like the weight of the world has been lifted off my
shoulders.
Today I cant comprehend or imagine what lies
ahead in my recovery life and all I can continue
to do is pass on the knowledge of recovery to
those who are still struggling with addiction till
my life is no more. To take each day no matter
what life throws at me and accept them with
gratefullness and apply my program of recovery
when necessary.
Im pretty sure I am right where I need to be no
matter what i thought it was to be yrs. ago.
