Here's what we did with our 23 yo son. When he was going to transition from the 90 day extended care into a sober living house, we set up a schedule of what we would pay for and for how long. In our situation, we said we'd pay for housing for 9 months but only for food for 3 months. After 9 months, we expect he'll be able to move into an apartment with friends, finding something he can afford. He had a job the first month, and quit that, but now is working at a temp agency. Getting rid of the fuzzy support issues really helped me and my husband. I think it's helped ds as well. He knows he has to work to buy food at least...and plan for the future when he'll need rent money as well.